Well actually, I was back on thursday night.. But I couldn't post till now cause I've been rather busy here and there. What with the wedding of my cousin christoper and valerie during the weekend, busyyyyyy! But it was a great weekend. I always love weddings. But aside from witnessing love between 2 people that's so wonderful..
I LOVE CAMBODIA AND THE 11 DAYS I SPENT THERE SO GODDAMN MUCH, AND AM MISSING IT SO MUCH NOW.
I must say I've learnt alot having gone there. I've met amazing people whom have inspired me to do greater things for them, the sights and sounds I still can remember all of it at cambodia. I miss it so much. Life there is so different as compared to home here. Organised isn't a word that's suitable to use, because everything's just so perfectly disorganised in the most natural ways. I love the landscape in cambodia! You definitely can't see any of that in Singapore.. Places like the 900 year old Angkor Wat and so many many (I would mention what if I remembered the names.. =x) SIGH! SO MANY THINGS BOUT CAMBODIA THAT I LOVE.
Unfortunately though, I am not gonna attempt to write an 11-day long post here, because my fingers will surely fall off after writing the 3rd day. I'm waiting to consolidate all the photos from everybody's camera, then do captions.. Saves alot of effort! But ah gee.. Photo uploading + deleting spaces in between photos are a big pain in the ass.. Can spend hours on it. I won't be posting all of it I guess. I have to be selective here!! So wait for the photos okay. (:
Chris and Val's wedding. Really lovely because well, to me all weddings are always lovely. Haha. But I think the best thing was that I was able to share the table with my cousins, so we had lotsa' fun yesterday evening talking and everything. The wedding was spread within 2 days. Saturday being the church wedding and tea-serving session, and sunday evening the wedding dinner. I didn't go to church though. Heh. But I've got photos taken on both days, so I shall upload them shortly. Uploading the wedding photos is wayyyyyy easier and faster than those from cambodia. Hehe. Okay anyway, I'm really happy for my cousin christoper that he's found the right girl. I hope the both of them last! THEY WILL. :D Story will come with captions.
Or maybe another time. I'm feeling really lazy.. lol.
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Sunday, November 22, 2009 8:32 PM
Hehe, here are the photos taken on friday/saturday (I was out that late) again, this time from maine's camera! If it weren't for my spoiled camera I could have taken more, but its okay.. She sent me hers! Thank you maine maine. Er but the sequence is wrong, you should start from the bottom of this post. Heehee. Enjoy!
After the event, we went to the airport. Initially wanted to visit Starbucks, but we went to the wrong terminal. Here's what I'll remember from now on. STARBUCKS IS AT TERMINAL 2 OKAY PEOPLE!!! Fancy being in heels and walking from terminal one.. NEHHHH. So we decided to go to Dome instead. Not bad.. Still caffeine after all. (:
AT DOME CAFE
THIS ISN'T CHARMIAN. SHE MURDERED HER. (:
Kay, I know I look super funny in the following 2 photos, thanks to maine.. *evil eye* I WAS LOOKING AT THE HUGE BULLDOZER THAT POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE IN THE AIRPORT OKAY. Not my fault. :D
JOMANDAAAAA! Alot to say, but too much to be put into words my dear. You're the 2nd friend I made in PRCS, and yes we got off on the wrong foot in sec 1.. Never ever expected to be so close to you, till we're art students in sec 3. Thank you for everything, you are so lovely. Thank you for trusting me with your problems, laughing with me at my silly moments and always being there for me. My mummy says you and I are like born sisters because of our facial features (aka eyes like slits, lol). But you and I know what else is there that is similar, RIIIIIGHT? LOL. I love you babe! So so much. Please don't forget me, as I'll never forget you dearest. I'll miss you alot even. (:
XINPING PO1!!! My po. My pal. I love you like crazy, you bring extra laughter and extra fun into my life. I'll always remember what a wonderful person you are. Don't ever change, this unpredictable, intolerable and unbearably adorable person! Though we've had disputes with each other before, but now that we're all grown up, we know better than to fight right? HAHAHA. We're total opposites, yet so similar in many ways.. We're a great pair of best friends. I'll never forget someone I share the same passion for dance with, and many other stuff too!! (like helping you to scout for ___) I love you! Please remember me kay? I'll always miss you. (:
Charmaine PO-H!!! What can I say? I love you too much for words. Known you for 4 years now, and I've never and WILL NEVER regret ever knowing you, because you're someone treasurable when known well.. (: I will miss you so darn much now that we've graduated, but let's keep in touch promise! I'm always here for you, to listen to you, to offer you hugs and more importantly tickle your funny bone~! Don't ever let anything get you down, because you're a really strong person deep down. And with you around my life has been filled with alot of laughter.. I'll miss your creepy stares, your silent tickles and everything else that spells charmaine. Most importantly we have similar names! Hahaha. Keep smiling okay babe. Love you alot alot! (:
AT THE EVENT
Mark. Eh.. I don't know you well, but my most prominent memory of you is the time our classes played captain's ball together. Haha. Sorry I was being annoying at the time, only cause I thought you were really good at catching the ball. lol. But I'll miss you too, and your waves whenever I see you at school. All the best for O levels next year. (:
Mr Ng!~! Thank you thank you thank you, for everything you've done for me and the council board. You're a really wonderful teacher, and because of you I've never not liked D&T. In fact I must admit, I only considered D&T in sec 3 because there was a possibility you might teach me again.. Hehehe. But knowing you, and being exco we've gotten closer, I'm really happy to have been your student and you being my mentor for alot of things. I'll miss you loads!
Alicia!!! My friend since primary one, how can I ever forget you? We've been in the same class for 4 years before too! And living in the same estate.. lol. I'll miss you alot you know? Though we might have got into disputes back then when we were little girls, but no doubt you're still a really wonderful friend. All the best! And keep smiling licia. (:
Mrs Sheri. Hmm, don't really know how to begin. I shall start by admitting I never liked you when you taught me geography in lower sec. But when you took over the council board, I got to learn more about and from you, so much so that I'm glad to have you around guiding me all these years. I love you! Keep smiling, it's contagious! Can't thank you enough, but please know how much I'll miss you.. (:
Ms Olivia Low. Thank you so much, my maths teacher for 2 years. Sorry I've never been a genius at maths, pretty much one of the losers for math when I was in lower sec. Haha. But thank you, because you never gave up on me. You're a wonderful teacher and I'm lucky to have been your student. I'll miss you. (:
Ashilah. Wonderful, smart and pretty friend of mine. Classmates for 4 years, I'll never forget the funny times we've been through together. I'll miss you alot now that we've graduated. All the best.. (: And I'm looking forward going to cambodia with you!
CHERRYYYYY. You're as sweet as the fruit named that. Haha. I personally don't favour cherries, but I do like you alot as a friend! I'll never forget your sweet smile eh. (:
ART CREW AGAIN (:
My POs. I love you both, I love us. Everything that we 3 have been through for the past 2 years in 4/6, the good and the bad, will always always remain in my heart. I'll never forget how different we are as individuals yet amazingly complimenting when together.. You girls have given me so much, I can never thank you enough. Miannie needs you and always. I love you both so much!
-----
Well that's that for grad night. The rest of the photos taken using other people's phone are on facebook, I'm lazy to save all of them and then upload here.. Heh. This should do. Tomorrow I'll be flying to Cambodia, for a long and tiring but fun 11 days. Please miss me because I'll miss the lot of you so much!!! Take care alright. Maybe tomorrow in the morning I'll blog my last last post.. If time permits. Haha. My flight's at 4pm, terminal 2 (ahem, hint hint! lol), but I'll already be at the airport at 1pm. BUT I have to be in school at 10am in the morning, gosh. Oh well. Just in case I'm not back in the morning tomorrow..
GOODBYE YOU ALL! MIANNIE'S GOING AWAY FOR 11 DAYS. I CAN ALREADY SEE PEOPLE HOLDING TISSUES.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. MISS ME!!! ^^
But sadly.. hardly anybody's gonna be sending me off at the airport tomorrow, unlike the rest. Daddy is away at vietnam WHICH REMINDS ME. He went there so freaking last minute!!! He was supposed to fly tomorrow to vietnam, but his schedule changed suddenly and he left on saturday afternoon.. If it wasn't that I was waiting for the bus and saw him in the taxi, my last time seeing him before he flew was the night I came back from prom? And then he called me, telling me goodbye. So freaking sad bout it that day.. :( And then mummy. Because its just her and another colleague in her office now (the rest went for some business trip), she cannot leave, so none of my parents are sending me.. Maine is helping out at school, she cannot send me. Jo is grounded, cannot send me. Only dearest PO1 left.. :( SIGH. I think one of the saddest things is leaving the country with no one waving at you behind your back, seriously. :(
I'll miss you all. And my family too.. Be safe you all. I'll be back soon. ^^
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Saturday, November 21, 2009 7:25 PM
GRADUATION NIGHT '09
This is just for you, for all the wonderful wonderful people in my life. I didn't manage to take photos with each and every one of you, but please know how special you are to me and that I regret not being able to do so. Nevertheless miannie remembers you. (: Here we go!
Note: Not all photos are here, might upload more in time to come. (: Making up
PO1 and PO2
PO1 and PO-H
JOMANDA! (FLAT BUDDY)
PO2 and PO-H
Hairstyles
Guess PO1 was losing her sleek curls. lol.
Credits to PO1.
My make-up was pretty uneven if you notice. Heh.
ANNIE DEARIE!
My twin! (even mummy says we look like sisters!!)
AT THE EVENT!
faisal, one of my best guy friends everrrrrrr.
Alexei, always so dear to me anytime and everytime. (:
Needless to say. (:
NEEDLESS TO SAY TOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! HAHAHAHA.
LALALALA.
With aisyah (:
ZAFRUL!
NADIAH!
Fionaaaaaaaa!
Peiying :D
It seems like the water candles are a tradition at every year's grad night. Hee.
Qayyum! Psst, he's so self-service. HAHAHA. Okay. Don't know him well enough, but enough to be good friends with. Thank you for always making me smile, and offering me a shoulder to lean on. Can't thank you enough. But just know I'm here for you too. (:
ART CREW! I'll never forget the thick and thin we been through together. The drawing, the painting, the cursing, the bitching, the crying, the brainstorming, the chasing-after-a-baddie and finally handing up our works together. It's all right here. *points to heart*
PO1 AND PO2! HOT BABES, HAHAHAHA.
EVEN HOTTER BABES.
!!!
Reuben. My classmate since sec one, will never forget you everr. Thank you for everything. (:
MS CHUAAAAAAA! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU!
JUNHAO! Also a really wonderful friend to have. Thank you for your jokes and time taken to listen to me. Thank you for being sarcastic when and when not needed, lol. I'll never forget you. (:
Lydia. Short time I've known you, but coming the 11 days in cambodia will bring us closer. Sweet girl (:
Elizabeth (not sure how to spell short form, lol). Really sweet senior.
Swee min!
ERNEST! Guy best friend, very very wonderful. Always standing by me - listening to my problems, encouraging me and simply being there for me. You bring extra laughter into my life, ern! And you know I'm always here for you (:
I think Jolene senior's really cute. hahaha.
Razzan. Friend now, mentor still! Thank you for always giving guidance to me and the rest of the councillors.. You make up people's day. (:
Vanessa, really nice too. (:
Sin Wai, known you not long, but enough to know you're a really nice senior. Always so helpful. See you when we go to cambodia together!
JOLENE! One of my best girlfriends in council, I love you so much. Thank you for everything. We'll hang out soon okay! I'm here for you always. (:
Contestants of Prom King&Queen
Love you loads lexei.
Lexei and mahirah.
US!
Hidayat junior. Thank you for being so spontaneous all the time, so hyper and so fun. Keep up the happy vibes! Haha! I'll miss you now that I've graduated. Study hard, and don't give up no matter what okay! I'm here. (:
Syafiq and Darren (chongkee!!!) Very fun people in class to talk to. Haha. And you, chongkee, DON'T ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP!
Ms Clara Wong, Jo and me (:
Thank you ms wong for never giving up on 4/6. Sorry for disappointing you before, but I hope we'll do you proud for O levels. I'll miss you!
Mrs See! Thank you for being so wonderful and sweet all the time. Couldn't have been superwoman for a while during 10th anniversary dinner without your help. I'll always remember you for your kindness. I'll miss you too. (:
ms Eileen Koh. Don't know you that well, but hope I will when we go to cambodia. I know you're afraid of balloons thoughhhh! HAHAHA. I'll balloon sculpt for you a nicer flower when we're there. (:
Ms Karin Wong. I love you so much! Thank you for everything. If it wasn't for you, my maths would still suck really badly.. I owe you big time. I'll never forget you, and I'm so happy you're going to cambodia too! Don't worry, I won't hang a pig's head at your door even though you leave just next block to me. *peace* LOVE YOU!
Mr Jason! Though I don't know you well, but thank you for giving so much guidance to team 3 for cambodia. Thank you for being so understanding too.. We're lucky to have you as in-charge of the team. See you when we go to cambodia!
MS SHELIAAAAAAAAA! I LOVE YOU! Thank you for being so understanding and caring all the time, thank you for making lit lessons so un-boring and for being the best home tutor any class can have. I'll miss you!
MS JUNAINAH! I LOVE YOU LOADS, SERIOUSLY. Thank you for being such a wonderful drama club in-charge, and caring for all of us. I'm still very sorry for dozing off in class.. and you never seem to scold me for it except for "RIGHT, CHARMIAN????" and I'm lucky to have known you and be taught by you. I'll miss you so much. (:
HAHA! Omg shy -.- Okay. Thank you Mr Wong for agreeing to take a photo with me. Yea and if you haven't already found out (which is highly impossible), I think you're really cute. Haha. Though I'm taking POA, but I won't forget ever seeing you in PRCS. Blessings to you and your sweetheart. Hee. And stay cute! lol.
Radhiah. I love you, and everything we've been through together as emcees, and as teammates to cambodia. I'll miss you alot, but before that I'm sure we'll work great together at cambodia. Stay bubbly!
SHERMAINE, your laughter always brightens up my days in the council. (:
Jiawen! Times we spent together were not long, but I hope they'll last. You're a great friend and an even more wonderful memory to me. Though we're not that close to each other as we were before, but I hope that we won't forget each other. I love you and your silliness! Take care my dear friend. (:Following is by Jomanda, who borrowed yours truly's camera to camwhore. (:
The dancefloor. (if you can even see a spot not taken)
Eunice! Primary and secondary school friend. Your cheerfulness always gets to me, and I'll miss you for that. All the best in your future endeavours! Stay in touch? (:
DONNNNNNNNN! I may not have known you that well before, but thanks to the trip to cambodia we're much closer now and I'm glad I have you as a friend. I know I'm always so mean to you (and that's cause you're mean to me everytime!) and do personal attacks on you, but in fact you're just really fun to be with. See you when we go to cambodia!! (:
Geraint. We're not as close as we were in 2/5, but I've never forgotten the times we spent together as great buddies. Thank you for trusting me and telling me your problems. Thank you for always encouraging me. I'll miss you. (:
Jach! I'll miss your stupid rat face and silly character! Thank you for putting smiles on my face every time with you forthrightness... Hahaha. All the best eh buddy. (:
Weiyang. You can be quite irritating sometimes, but still such a wonderful classmate. I'll miss you and your _______ look all the time. lol. Good luck!
Zafran. I only know you well enough to know your smile is contagious to everybody. Oh and keep up the good work with the drums~ (:
HIDAYAT! HAHAHA. Even though you're really annoying, but even that I will miss now that we've graduated. Thank you for being the clown all the time, thank you for being sweet when you try to hide it but no thank you for mario. Heehee. I'll miss you. (:
Rebecca. I like her smile! *thumbs up* You're a really wonderful senior. (:
ZUZUZUZUZU! You're always so cute, and that impression has never changed since sec 1. I'll miss you alot. Thank you for being sweet with your encouragement, even though you try not to show it. Thank you for your trust. Your silly ego makes you such an a-hole sometimes but it always makes me laugh. All the best my dear friend. (:
Dr. Ong. Hmm. Well you have the testimonial I wrote for you, so that's all there is in the book. Thank you for everything, and all the best :D
Melmel! You're always so sweet, and I'll miss you so so much. Keep smiling okay? (: I love you!
Olivia and chermaine. I love you 2, because you're always so sweet and even when you twins talk its always so matching. I'll miss you both! I'll miss you chermaine, for being such a wonderful confidante when we're in drama. All the best!(:
Vanessa. Well, since you're not graduating (oops lol), all the best to you next year. Stay bubbly, pretty and always talkative. I'll miss you and your laughter. I'm here if you need me. (:
Alvin. Hmm. Don't know you well, but you're good at art. Heh.
CONSTANCE! LOOK AT THE BABE PLEASE!!!! 360 degrees change, I'm still recovering from shock. But as a sweet thing here, you should be like that everyday.. Hahaha. Thank you for everything dearie. I'll miss you and all the fun you bring everytime!
Guifang. Stay cute!
Atiqah. You're very funny ah.. lol.
Councillors on the go! (:
Thank you muhammad, for everything you've done for me. I'll miss you. Please take care!
Well. I see daniel at the bus stop often so.. I'll miss that? TEEHEE.
Huizhen! I'll miss your lame jokes and smart asssssssssss! (:
NARGIS. I LOVE YOU! You've been such a dear friend to me and I'll never forget the times we shared as councillors. I'll miss you! Remember to go clubbing with me and jolene! lol.
JIAJUN! 2nd time we're graduating together, hahahahahaha! I'll miss your skinniness, kiasuness, and lameness! Maybe we'll be in the same school again? LOL.
HETTY!!!! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL FRIEND AND I LOVE YOU. Wish we could talk soon and remember i'm always here for you okay? ^^
Teng ping you're sweeeeeeet (:
LIYANAAAAAAA! I LOVE YOU BABE. Remember I'm always here for you no matter rain or shine kay? I got extra ears for you. (:
Aaron. A really hardworking guy and fun person to be with. Besides getting shocked from your fits of laughter, I like having you around. Looking forward to going to cambodia together! (:
Michael. Don't know you too well, but you're really fun to be with~ (: All the best with the dancing eh. lol.
Liyana. (:
Annie. One of the most amazing person I've ever met and I'll never forget you. I love you so darn much. Please know I'm always here for you no matter what may come. You and I will always be best friends. (:
Beryl, my first friend here in PRCS. I love you okay. Stay in touch please. I'll never forget your kindness. (:
Ting, you make me smile all the time and thank you for that. I love you! And I'll miss your cheerfulness.. Don't forget me kay!
BABES, I STILL LOVE AND MISS US.
Luqman! I'll miss your crap. We don't always agree, but I'm glad I've known you and sat beside you in class before. Stay happy my friend!
Yisheng's always cute. (:
Yay! See zaki smiling?????? FINALLY. I always see him ._. like this in school. I'll remember you like this! (:
Thank you Mr Azhar. (:
I FREAKING TOOK 5 HOURS PLUS TO DO THIS!!!!! ITS SO LATE NOW!!!!!
Good night you lot! When there's more time, I'll come back again. Hope you enjoy the photos. Heehee. ^^
Okay, I don't have much time on my hands now actually. I screwed up a little and now I have to go salvage it ASAP. See you all laterrrrrr. Can't wait to see babes and hunks at school. Can't wait to see myself there. CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT!!!
I feel like peeing.
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009 8:26 PM
Hello all.
Today seems to be more tiring than yesterday's long day of packing.. Surprisingly. I agree with Donn. Today is use-our-brain day, whereas yesterday you just have to keep sorting out assorted clothes and items. I have to salute Donn. He, for all his life, has only folded 4 SHIRTS, within 3 days. AND HE IS 16 YEARS OLD. *clap clap*
But but, I'm glad that I don't have to go back to school tomorrow, all's finished. What's left now is the trip itself now, on monday. Oh and the malaria pill eating session. Haha. Am excited bout the 11 days, but definitely as anxious.. Don't know what to expect over there. But I hope I'll come back a person who'll remember to never take things for granted and cherish everything I have here. Think it'll work better for me, much better than the life now.. With just some people I wish I can slap. Never mind bout that. Hee.
Recently it seems pretty ironic too. With time on my hands I've been bloghopping.. And chanced upon the lives of different people. Girls, mostly. There are my school mates, whom are really excited bout prom this friday and going high bout what they wear, what they do to prepare for it. But there're also girls' blogs I read that seem to remind me of myself a long, perhaps not that long, time ago. The depressing stuff. Poems with lines that flow naturally simply cause all of them are binded by the same sad sad emotion. Little little phrases they end their posts with, that are of small fonts, different colours. The whole meaning they have with each post is that they are going through a period of heartbreak.
And that's when I feel my computer screen resembles a mirror.
What do I feel when I read these? Feelings of sympathy definitely, but even more definitely, empathy. Been where they are, and it's as if I'm writing my past posts all over again. It feels kinda funny though, to be the one standing at the sidelines, and not actually being them. I'm the one who tells them now, that things will be fine, be the one assuring them that this is just a time that they have to go through to find themselves again, and be the one who lends them a ear for them to listen. And everything, is so familiar. "I hate who I am now", "why does he have to do this to me", "I miss him" and so on.. Nothing I haven't heard before.
I'm proud of you miannie. You proved yourself wrong, proved to everyone that you can survive a heartbreak. And so girls who are upset with yourselves now, going through a really difficult time, if I can do it you can too. (: You know who you are, I'm here for you if you ever need me!
And I'm happy that I'm friends with him now. No longer that difficult to talk to him like before now, and I'm hoping he is happy. Yea.. He is. I'm sure. ^^
Kay anyway, so since tomorrow I don't have to be in school, I am wondering if I should go to NP for the last day of Red Camp. Couple of days ago, I asked the SL of Ninja if it was okay to go for it even though I might only be present on the last day. But now that I am free tomorrow, I am not sure if I want to anymore. Firstly its cause I'm dead tired. Like exhausted from the packing and the thinking of some stuff. I don't have enough sleep and I am seriously NEEDING it. If not come friday I'm going as a panda (and I'm wearing black! lol).. And plus, tomorrow being the last day ends at 10pm. If I'm gonna play till that time.. Come back at an even later time, will I have the energy and spirit the next day for prom? D-I-L-E-M-M-A. And yet not so long ago, I was so certain bout going. Probably because of feedback from people who are involved. Heard that as compared to SP Escapade, Red Camp isn't that fun after all. HAHA, that's kinda sad for NP. But.. hurray SP? Hehe.
Oh well. See how tomorrow. Zzz.
Okay I am so excited for friday to arrive!!! IT'S LIKE FINALLY, FINALLY FINALLY I'M NOT GOING THERE FOR DUTY. NOT STANDING AT THE SIDELINES ADMIRING MY SENIORS DRESSED SO NICELY AND HAVING FUN, BECAUSE THEY'VE GRADUATED. AND EVEN IF MY FEET ACHE, IT DOESN'T MATTER SINCE ITS PRETTY HEELS I'M WEARING AND NOT THOSE PLAIN BLACK ONES!!!!!!!
Great or whaaaaaaaaaat?! ^^ (answer's great)
Heehee. And of course! I'm just as excited to see everyone so pretty on friday. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. FRIDAY COME FASTER PLEASE!!
But when it's over I think I'll be very sad. lol.
Okay. Photos from SP Escapade and swimming session with my POs. Too tired to fit in all captions.. But do laugh at my unglam shots. You're most welcome to. Hahaha.
Fanfare
Digging for food.. =p
Before gig!
Thanks to Gibson.
Photo credits to Gibson. (:
After swimming, at MOS Burger!
Part of PO1's campaign to disturb me. lol.
Twirl your hair? SO CAN I!
Haha. Okay. That's all for today. Promstuff up next. Good night. (:
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009 10:57 PM
KAY WHO CARES. I DON'T WANNA WASTE MY TIME AND PRECIOUS MEMORY SPACE THINKING OF BLAAAAAAAAAH STUFF. TOMORROW WILL BE A BETTER DAY!!! (and really looking forward to fry-day!)
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
10:16 PM
I'M FEELING SO DAMN FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW I CAN SLAP MYSELF AND DIE.
I don't know what to think. I feel anxious, and really really insecure about myself. I feel unsure of what to do, or what to say, because the things that I want to do and say doesn't seem to reciprocal. I need help. I don't know who to turn to and I don't know where to begin. I can't seem to get a particular scene out of my head and it is driving me nuts. It seems now, that I am all alone to face this. I hate people who hit and run.
And I hate people who leave me hanging. They do whatever they want without even sparing a thought for others' feelings, or if the consequences of their actions are dire. Fact is they don't give a shit and yet, the longer this is dragging on, the longer I feel sick about myself and I ask myself why something so unworthy is occupying so much memory space in my brain, and delibrately forcing my emotions out on my face. At times like this I wish I had someone to turn to. Then again even if you place someone totally trustworthy right in front of me now, I guess I would back out and shrug the matter off.
It's so hard to get to sleep these days and the exhaustion is beginning to show. I want to leave this behind before I go to cambodia. Or maybe I should say, leave all of this AT cambodia and come back feeling more full than empty.
Maybe because I'm such a pushover, some people just choose to torture me like that. And if to begin with, you never meant it, you should have just stayed away from me. I'm not a toy. What you're doing is really cruel.
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Monday, November 16, 2009 7:44 PM
Here again!
Been MIA because I've been running in and out of the house quite often lately. There's alot going on and its keeping me busy. I'm pretty sure this is a good thing because I seem to be zoning out as often too..
But anyway.
SP ESCAPADE 2009 IS THE SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
I had so much fun because everybody was having fun and I was so insane because everybody was so insane. INSANE INSANE INSANE. People I've met were really nice. I'm proud to be an INNO6 monster! Hahaha. Though I have to admit, I think the hairy brown IMAGI mountain monster is cuter than INNO the sea monster.. Nevertheless, I still love Escapade because it was like a black out only I see all the fun better!
Thank you Stephanie and Gibson for being such friendly and talkative monster leaders; there would less fun if you weren't our monster leaders. I miss you guys already, and I miss all the other INNO6 monsters too (well those who were friendly). I think its a pity though, that not all of us were really bonded with each other. No offense but this is especially to the guys? Not all of them true, but 3/4 of the group of the guys seemed so anti-social. And 3/4 of the time I notice them, they just stand there, leaning their weight on one leg and fold their arms AND STARE. It would have been so much more fun if everybody just mingled with everyone else. Oh well. It didn't get me down. (:
Gibson was being a really really random photographer, but thanks to him I've got funny/lovely shots from Escapade! Haha. Honestly, he has a very contagious smile and when twin-jomanda and PO1 bullied me (which say, was half the time we were there!), he was the companion who always poof-ed out of nowhere to talk to me. Really fun fun person. (: And then stephanie is a cutie. She talks alot, and always tries to pull INNO6 together when our energy level was low. Love her!
There was this group of girls from I-forgot-which-school who were really nice too. We sat together at dinner (it was a rush, by the way) and they're really sweet. Although I guess they found me a little ?! because I was being too random with the "tissues????" and shoving my tissue packet at them. lol. Kay I regret not taking their email addresses. Hard to keep in touch now.. :(
I'm sure that next year's Escapade would be a better one. Although this was their first time hosting such an event but I should say overall it was a big success. Sorry I can't upload photos because my computer's memory space is low.. -.- But photos are on facebook so go take a look! ((:
Oh and yes. I SWEAR that because of the almost 4 hours gig during Escapade, my body ached like CRAZYYYY and i felt muscles!!! LOL. I swear.. That explains how crazy the night was at SP. It was so much fun dancing and singing anyhow with PO1, twinJo, Faisal, Sabrina and Fadlee(?)! And faisal, my gosh, he was super duper hyper when dancing that is so funny! And both of us were like leaning onto the platform stage pausing to catch our breath. And then all start again~ Hahaha. There were cameras and video cameras going around filming and shooting crazy people. I think they snapped alot of us, haha! But I almost vomitted and fainted in the crowd of people! Crazy moshing, really really. :D
I also miss the crappy bus ride from SP to Vivo, with the 2 babes and the monster leaders/crew. There's this malay guy whom I forgot his name, and he was so funny. lol. He was the first person from SP who really came to talk to the 3 of us girls, and during the bus ride he was bitching.. LIKE A GIRL. LOL. Kept making us and stephanie and gibson laugh. And as usual gibson kept taking photos. Haha. Stephanie was cute because she actually went planning that if the 3 of us ended up at SP, we could have lunch together with them.. HAHA. Abit too far. But they make me wanna go to SP even more. (:
Oh yeah yeah, I almost forgot. At SP I managed to fish out feedback from people of different courses. It's so silly to meet a senior of PRCS there, and not know he was a senior of mine before! And it's even more silly to have talked to him and still not know his name.. lol. Well apparently, he's in creative writing and blabla, in CAS. And he was telling me that its better than being in mass communications. But steph was rebutting that mass communications opens up alot more doors than creative writing and blabla does. Making me have such a dilemma.. =l Oh well. It isn't time to worry yet.
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Alright, aside from all the fun and excitement, I am really feeling sore about the fact that I'm not going to Red Camp tomorrow after all. There's a slot just there waiting for me, yet I am so freaking deprived of it because I have to be in school for cambodia stuff. I am being such a whinner now but let me be please? I'm just upset. Like really really upset and disappointed and sore bout this whole thing. Asked mr choo about it before, and he said a big yes to me going for it. But out of the blue he sent qayyum a text saying the teachers in charge feel that cambodia stuff is more important than the camps we're going (tprawks, Red Camp etc). Its a breach of word hello?! And I went to school with qayyum to beg mr choo, he said no. Today again I asked and he still said no. I even told him I was willing to stay back in school today to pack all the stuff, and I was so prepared to say I don't mind bringing home stuff to pack or come back on friday morning before prom to help again. All this just so I can go tomorrow till thursday. I've been looking forward to these 3 days since THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR, when ZQ told me to sign up for Red Camp when NP sends me mail because it's really fun and everything.. And I signed up way before cambodia!! Sigh.
Okay. I know I'm not supposed to be so whinney. Because for those who should have been to tprawks, today till wednesday, I know you're probably feeling just as sick that you can't go for it.. And I'm just being a big baby to get upset over the fact that I am too, NOT going for Red Camp. Argh. This whinner in me is still giving me pangs of bla right now. I want to knock my head on the wall. I don't feel like going to school tomorrow.
It sucks to be the only girl in team 3. I don't really click with any of the guys in the team either. I am not close to the guy from my cohort, neither am I close to the juniors. I don't click with them at all. At first when halimah was in the team, it was still okay because at least, there's another girl. Now that she's dropped out, I'm the only girl left. My God even our teacher is a guy. See how pathetic I am now.. :(
Mian is so super duper happy now. I just can't believe it. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALL OVER. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? (well of course you can that's just an expression) HEEHEE. BIG GRINS ALL OVER THE PLACE! :DDDD
*calm*
Hi people. WORLD!! lol. After my long hiatus, I'm finally back to blogging. I swear I'm so gonna be a routine blogger now. And with my new (yay!) keyboard, TYPING IS SO MUCH MORE FUN AND LESS NOISY. WHICH MEANS, MUM AND DAD WON'T COMPLAIN ME TYPING AWAY! HAHAHAHAHA. Yipee yipee yipee. I really am tempted to post many photos, but because I just reached home and its kinda late to post so many of them, I shall stick to writing today okay? I promise photos the next time AND SUBSEQUENTLY! (:
Well, after reading seniors' post previously on how "okay la" their take of the O levels were, I am so happy that finally it's my turn to say so. O levels were "okay la" for me, and I really hope that the results will turn out as expected. I'm pretty hopeful.. And I'm really praying that history won't repeat itself like PSLE (childhood days..) did. And! I'm really really *high-pitched* REALLY hoping that whichever school I'm going to next is where I wanna be and won't regret it. Oh well. Can't worry bout this now when its not even been a day since O levels ended (WOOHOO!). When next year comes, I shall start worrying. Hahaha. Let's just hope my toes, and all my friends' toes can laugh together when we see that measly slip of paper filled with grades and codes. (:
Oh yes. I know that people from classes 4/8 and 4/9 are just a few papers away from a fat life, but hang on okay! Eh if you have no one to go mad with (I mean IF) when friday comes and goes, call me. I CAN GO MAD WITH YOU ALL OVER AGAIN. HAHA! (this is more directed to my 3 best friends from the above classes.. :D)
Anyway. Besides being super ultra happy that O levels are over, I'm actually happy with myself for starting afresh and everything. Everything feels so surreal right now. Surreal but all the more cherishable.. (: I love how I am now and yes, it's safe to say miannie's back to those days when she goes HAHAHA and not stop, days she just can't stop talking bout anything under the sun and days she'll start to live to the fullest as possible. Thank you. To each and everyone of the wonderful people in my life, who never gave up on me, who always fight the worst of days for me. Without all of you, the charmian now wouldn't be here. You guys make me wanna be better of a person and I really, really will try to keep smiling even on rainy days. Watch me! (:
Right, so that's that. Now that I'm so free I finally have the memory space to think bout ANYTHING. lol. No formulas though, haha. It's abit sad though, that I have my 2 months holiday planned out more or less. What's coming up now should be prom (OMG PROM! *squeals*) and the preparations for it. In a couple of days afterwards I'll be flying (jayjay the jet plane~) to Cambodia for CIP for 11 days. When I come back, my cousin's getting married and yes! I AM SO EXCITED bout that too because it's been such a long time since anybody from both sides of my family hosted a wedding. I love weddings. Hahaha. THEN, after a while more I'll be flying again (jayjay the jet plane~) to china, AGAIN! Beijing's snowing heavily and I seem to be more happy bout it than worried. I can get to see snow finally! *puppy eyes* And climb the Great Wall of China.. *big grins* x10. When I'm back Christmas would be over, and in countless days its the start of another year. OMG. That's so fast!
Yea really. Everything is vroom vroom now with my schedule so packed. BUT.. that's good too. At least I won't be rotting at home or whatever. I can start living a fat life when I'm more free. Hahaha. But I wanna get a job! I wanna work at Explorer Kids. It seems so fun because everyday I get to mingle with tots. And babysit them while their mummy and daddy go do their stuff. Haha. I hope they'll accept me! *puppy eyes* heh.
Oh and yes, I've decided to continue swimming and stuff. I realised that I can't get over swimming ever since I've stopped at Gold. So if it's possible, I'm gonna aim for the survivor's course now. If i do pass it, MIAN CAN BE A LIFEGUARD! HAHAHAHA. Well, that is if people trust me to save their lives. lol. YOUR LIFE'S ASSURED! Hee. See how eh. But I really wanna go for it. (:
And then.. maybe continue dancing with PO1. We've stopped for a rather long time and I hope that we can continue it now that we're so free. But anyway, I'm more excited bout really signing up for singing lessons now. Dad's gonna sponsor me.. HAHA. And they're encouraging me, so why not, right? (: Ah.. I never though I'd get a headache over HOW TO SPEND MY HOLIDAYS. But now I know. I have so many things to do. Hahaha. But I don't mind! :D
Kay as you've noticed, I'm really just typing whatever that comes to my mind. Excuse me, these wonderfully happy plans have been in my head since the start of this year, so I must shit everything out now before I forget. Heh! Right so besides all the yada yada, I haven't forgotten bout mentioning to the art crew bout the "free balloon day" someday. Before O levels, I suggested to them that we can just pick a day, buy many balloons and blow them (well they blow, I watch. I suck at blowing balloons -.-). And then we can go up to random people and give balloons to them to make their day! Attached can be notes that read "have a great day" and stuff like that you know? Think that'll be fun. Make everybody happy! (psst. people with high karma rates ought to try... lol.)
I know I have made several dates with friends bout going to the movies, going to k-box(es) and stuff like that.. I haven't forgotten about those either. For the people I haven't been able to make time for, I'll try okay. (: And then there's this Flag Day thing like I mentioned after that one-time experience doing Flag Day in school uniform.. I still have the intention to volunteer myself again. Only I don't know how. lol. Kay I think I need to google some associations online to see which one can take me in. Hahaha. Or maybe. Just go with Children's Charity Association again. :D
I'm being greedy. I am I am I am. I said something bout having a fat life, but like that how to grow fat??? Heh but for sure, nothing will draw my attention away from eating at least 3 meals a day. lol. Kay I am so excited bout prom! Its like whoo-pee-di-da-la-li-hoo-haa-yi-pee-dee-do kind of excitement okay! I'm actually excited to see everybody dressed prettily and stuff like that.. I'm excited bout hearing the speeches from every class.. excited bout watching the videos and especially the videos the teachers made. Excited bout the fun we'll have and AH! EVERYTHING THAT WILL HAPPEN ON 20TH NOVEMBER! There. I just saved some effort to mention what I'm excited bout. (which is still, basically everything) teehee!
Surprisingly my fingers aren't tired. At all. I swear if I still have anything I'm just gonna keep typing.. lol. Okay. Forget it. I'd rather post photos now. HAHAHA. I know, don't have to tell me and for sure people have been missing my face. LOL. And my friends' of course! WAIT NO MORE. You'll see me soon. HAHAHAHA. Kay sorry. Mian's just being a little cheeky and a little more over her head. Before my head becomes too big (I'm sorry I just suddenly got reminded of PO1's head, I don't know why. heh) I shall stop. Toodles people. Will, definitely de-fee-nerd-leeeeee come back soon. ^^
Here to say goodbye till I'm done with O levels. Yup, it's finally time.
Though these days, it's been so tiring with the workload from teachers, the revision I'm doing, and just being in class listening attentively, but I'm happy that the thing that keeps me going is motivation. Thank you for dropping by at the right time, so miannie can hold onto you for the next few weeks and get by.. And then finally let you go with a big fat grin on my face, knowing it'll be okay. I'll hang on. I will. When everything's over.. MY TOES WILL BE LAUGHING, HA!
I remember a few days ago, there seemed to be many things running against each other in my mind. Debating with myself how to react, what to say, what to do next.. Anger, disappointment, hurt.. And though telling everyone that I was more angry than upset by it, was a lie. But then I decided not to do anything bout it. And I'm glad I didn't. It would never have ended then, if I chased it in circles. Thank you, you made me see what kind of a person you really are. And nothing else matters anymore. (:
Okay, take care you lot. Those of you who's going into the slaughtering room with me on the 26th October, see you then and till then, lets' work hard together okay! Then our toes can laugh together when we get the results, HAHAHA. :D
REMEMBER ME. ^^
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Saturday, October 03, 2009 1:04 PM
My throat's reallyyyyyy sore right now :( But anyway.
1st October; 01 10 09 (nice date.. :D) Happy Children's Day! Hahaha. Or rather, Happy Birthday to my daddy. Officially 45 years old, but still such a big kid. But I still love you loads dad! Your lame jokes and positivity always keep me going.. And you're my role model (besides mummy) for being hardworking and dedicated in whatever we do in life. I know I can always count on you. Thank you daddy! Mwahh.
I still remember, when I was a little girl, and mummy asked me what kind of a guy I want to marry next time (she assumed I wanted someone who's rich and handsome I guess?) and I told her "mm.. I want to marry someone like papa". Yup, they pretty much laughed at my answer. But oh well, that's still half true, haha!
Since there wasn't any paper that day, the whole family went out to celebrate dad's birthday. But the funny thing was that, instead of the whole family watching a movie together, end up only cleon and I watched. And the best thing: WE WATCHED DIFFERENT MOVIES. Watched them, alone that is. Haha. I watched Fame (PO1 watched it before me and kept talking bout it so I was tempted) and he watched.. CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS. lol. As expected. But the animation seems to be kinda cute so I guess he liked it alot.
First time watching a movie alone. Haha, felt abit awkward. Basically isolating myself because all the other families and friends who went to watch it together were so far away from where I was sitting. But it was quite alright, actually kinda fun. The only exception is that when you're cold, you don't have anyone to snuggle with. Haha. (didn't bring jacket.. -.-)
The sad thing was that daddy still had to go to work at night.. :(
2nd October; 02 10 09 Physics paper first in the morning. Was quite alright, except that there were a few questions here and there I wasn't sure of.. Hopefully things will turn out okay. (:
Art paper! Hahaha. Sat for it, but would fail anyway. Really flunking it this time, because of the lack of prep work. But anyway, I think it isn't prep work that needs practising though, its speed painting within 2 hrs 30 mins that does. Managed to finish it this time.. Why? I USED WATER COLOUR, hahahaha. First time using water colour, and I think its better than any of my previous works on the spot. With acrylic paint I can never finish it. So now I know.. O levels I'm prolly gonna use water colour. (: Still got time to slack even after finishing the whole painting eh!
After art paper, couldn't join art crew to sing karaoke cause I had vaccinations to be done for the cambodia trip. 3 jabs, eee.. I was prolly the most nervous one. And the nervous breakdown was a crazy one. I KEPT LAUGHING NON-STOP at the smallest things.. Of course being next to anne was a contributing factor, but donn, aaron, mr choo, mr jason and ms wong were looking at me weirdly because I was so giggly. Yet, when we're really gonna have the jabs I went all quiet. lol. And everybody was like "eh mian, don't scared la. it's so fast lor you can't feel anything".
OH YES. KEPT CONVINCING MYSELF WITH THAT.
Stupid Qayyum kept making fun of me. He and his stupid facial expressions were trying their best to make me laugh, but he was being annoying anyway. Everybody got filmed when having their jabs. I don't have the video of myself now, but if I do I'll post it here. lol. MR CHOO SAID HE'S GONNA PUT IT ON YOUTUBE. Ahhhhhh, I am so dead if he does. Yes I agree - my face was really constipated. lol.
When the 3 jabs were done, I literally jumped for joy. I was like "YAYYYYYYYY!" and jumped right out of the room where everybody was laughing at me.. Haha. They're all so nice to me eh. Kept comforting me and everything before the jabs, and tried making me laugh. I'm pretty sure that us seniors going to cambodia will be a fun trip. (: But still need to know the juniors better.. (:
Thank you anne dearie for accompanying me afterwards the vaccinations. I'm sorry, sorry that I still decided to go with it even after what's happened. Sorry for not listening and sorry for being weak at heart to go against my decision. I'm also sorry towards charmaine, xinping and other people for not listening to what you guys have been telling me to do.. Or rather to NOT do. I know all of you care about me, and don't want me to do something that seems unworthy. But I decided that since I made up my mind.. It'll be the last time I'm ever gonna do this.
With annie's help time passed faster. I'm glad that, even though we no longer have that much time together now due to different schedules and everything, it isn't awkward between us. We still talk like we used to, we still laugh together like we used to, and we still think alike, just like we used to. And its times when she's patient and listens to my problems, that I appreciate her the most. I hope we'll still be very best friends even after secondary school.. (:
Went home in bus 291 from tampines interchange, and guess what?! I saw Kristin!!!! My primary school best friend! I miss her so much.. But it was so surprising to see her, and I'm really glad that even though its been 4 years, things haven't changed much. Well I guess we both have slightly changed looks now.. Haha. But besides that, it was as if we're like the twins we used to be back in primary school. Good to know she's doing fine now! (: And yay, I'm really hoping she'll call me like she said she would.. So we can hang out together again. (:
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I'm gonna be on hiatus soon. Shall be a good girl and work hard for o levels. Don't wanna be complacent like I used to for psle, or else I'll end up somewhere I don't wanna be. My last post? I'll tell it when it is. (:
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Author's Note
Hi there! Thanks for dropping by.
Name's Charmian,
if you spell or pronounce it wrongly, don't worry that's fine.
29 June's a wonderful day.
I'm someone filled with self-belief and haunted by self-doubt.
I'm hard to understand, but not unpredictable.
I'm easy to get along with as long as you don't make it hard for me.
There's so much more to me than you think.
In brief,
I'm clumsy, I'm naive, I laugh alot, I cry alot, I scream alot, I eat alot.
And there you have it, me (:
Monday, December 07, 2009
7:42 PM
copyrighted 2009 c.t.y.x.
Kay, I know I look super funny in the following 2 photos, thanks to maine.. *evil eye* I WAS LOOKING AT THE HUGE BULLDOZER THAT POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE IN THE AIRPORT OKAY. Not my fault. :D
